Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
