over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
