She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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