This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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