I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
