I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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