i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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