guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
