He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
