I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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