Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
