The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm like, not good at living.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
