Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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