Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
