Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
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