I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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