whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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