At least make sure they are 18
Why
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
