he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
