I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
