My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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