everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
