Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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