You just made me feel so damn special
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
