Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
