Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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