She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize