my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
