six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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