My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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