ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
