OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
