i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
