I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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