I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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