The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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