I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
