are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
