i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
