Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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