we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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