so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
