but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
