Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
