I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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