smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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