What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
