I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
