so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
