do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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