I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
