May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
