does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
