Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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